Forwarded by rupa at rupa.com (Rupa Schomaker)
From: psi at tahoe.unr.edu (Bryan Wolf)
Subject: Preying Mantis Syndrome
Keywords: smirk, sexual, originally appeared in third quarter, 1988
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny.reruns
Date: Sat, 15 May 1999 19:20:00 PDT
The Preying Mantis Syndrome
Many lower life forms demonstrate qualities that, at first, don't seem
very good for survival. For instance, the female praying mantis,
after mating with, well, her mate, will devour him. For the male
praying mantis, however, it is a catch-22. If he mates, he gets
screwed out of an opportunity to mate again. If he doesn't mate, he
doesn't reproduce and that is the end of his family tree (not that all
insects live in trees, mind you). This suicidal behavior is commonly
called the Preying Mantis Syndrome - and many life forms are
periodically subject to it's wrath. How did the preying mantis become
stuck in such a vicious cycle? This is probably what happened
beforehand:
The male mantis arrives at the residence of the female mantis.
After some courtship exercises (dinner, a movie, inserting the
diaphragm) they mate. The female mantis, her lust for...lust being
satisfied relaxes while the Male raids the refrigerator and returns
home. This behavior continues until the male and female (mantissas?)
establish a permanent relationship. Then the male establishes a new
pattern of behavior: Football on Mondays, baseball on Tuesdays, happy
hour on Wednesdays, Uh, working-late-at-the-office on Thursdays, and
bowling on Fridays. The female tolerates this to a certain extent,
then files for a divorce. After a long battle, she retires to her
alimony-paid home with a lesson well learned: It simplifies matters
tremendously to just eat him when you're done with him.
Well, through the process of evolution, the Preying Mantis Syndrome
is carried up into the highest life forms, even humans. That is why,
one week out of every month, the female of the species will feel
compelled to bite the head off the male. The Preying Mantis Syndrome
is inescapable, but when it occurs in the female of our species, it's
best to just avoid them for a while.